Tucuman

And suddenly by listening to these songs, the ones that i have been listening for over a year something felt really different and it felt like some place I were but at the same time didn’t want to be. Like my trip to Tucuman, a small city that has so much to show and that almost never knows. By walking alone in the centre, in its street the peace I needed came to fit itself in the correct place inside me. And Jesus! Finding a book that I didn’t even know that existed made everything just right: books and good music make me feel calm and peaceful.

I even remember how I felt after, laying in my bed with no concentration at all and the panic getting through my body. I was scared because of not knowing what that was but overall the feelings I had the one that stood out the most was loneliness. I was in the middle of nowhere with no one around me and just with books. I mean I love books but they take me out of reality. They are made to tell stories so you don’t have to think about your own. But I needed physical people, I needed to touch or to smell. To try all my senses and to feel loved.  I cried like I’d never cried before and like I’ve only cried a few times after that episode. The tears run through my face so quickly I didn’t have time to think about it and I wanted to puke so hard I don’t know how I didn’t.

But everything fit in its place and then I fell asleep so at the next morning when we woke up and left, it looked like nothing had happen. Tucuman is a place where I want to go again, perhaps not alone. I can never go back to a place like that one, so pretty and old and traditional yet lonely, alone.